Crazy. I am. I know it. But if you aren't pushing the edge of something you haven't done before... isn't it really the same experience? A settling into a new ‘comfort zone’? I could easily trot along, happily doing a couple of sprint distance events every year. However I’ve also completed about 8 full sprint distance training triathlons, starting from my local pool & 2 woman only sprint distances. Both of those were great. I made goal at one and was off of goal on the second due to mechanical issues and hesitancy in the swim. Haven't I spent way too many years numbly ‘comfortable’? Unaware of any possibilities within myself. Alive yet not living? Am I ready for an Olympic?
While working at Texas Renaissance Festival as a beer & wine wench(earning for a bike rack & HW monitor) , I was thinking and thinking about this. Do I sign up or not? Decide too late & there would be no available slots. This region isn't blessed with an overabundance of Olympic distance triathlons, nor am I over-abundantly financed to be able to travel far with a bike & gear for an event. Am I ready for an Olympic? No. Not right this second, not even next month! I can do the distances individually. Not happily and not with speed resembling any animal that ambulates at a speed between the turtle and the hare. More like a snail.
I thought back to January, when I slunk hesitantly into the TAMU pool next to Zentriathlon base camp athletes. I didn't think I could do that either. I was almost sick with nerves, hands shaking, toes cramping. The other side of the pool was a LONG ways away. I eventually made a few laps, slithered out of the pool to watch. Art in Motion. These athletes were so sure of themselves, full of technical jargon, spandex, lycra, heart-rate, cadence, low body fat, nonchalant kindness. Maybe they had never been fat, yet each of them was holding their own challenges at bay through triathlon training. I wanted to be a little more like them.
Almost a year of training and two triathlons later. I am a little more like them. An athlete. Yeah, a fat athlete, but still an athlete! An individual using triathlon to re-pattern a life more sustainable. Transitioning alone, for no one but myself, I’m making those healthy choices more and more often. A few dates have commented on my ‘weird eating habits’ and my ‘going to bed early’. I hear them and wonder how much more narrow my compatibility field of life partners is becoming. As I continue forward into my own unknown, the field will narrow until only one is in the focus. I am looking forward till then!
While working at Texas Renaissance Festival as a beer & wine wench(earning for a bike rack & HW monitor) , I was thinking and thinking about this. Do I sign up or not? Decide too late & there would be no available slots. This region isn't blessed with an overabundance of Olympic distance triathlons, nor am I over-abundantly financed to be able to travel far with a bike & gear for an event. Am I ready for an Olympic? No. Not right this second, not even next month! I can do the distances individually. Not happily and not with speed resembling any animal that ambulates at a speed between the turtle and the hare. More like a snail.
I thought back to January, when I slunk hesitantly into the TAMU pool next to Zentriathlon base camp athletes. I didn't think I could do that either. I was almost sick with nerves, hands shaking, toes cramping. The other side of the pool was a LONG ways away. I eventually made a few laps, slithered out of the pool to watch. Art in Motion. These athletes were so sure of themselves, full of technical jargon, spandex, lycra, heart-rate, cadence, low body fat, nonchalant kindness. Maybe they had never been fat, yet each of them was holding their own challenges at bay through triathlon training. I wanted to be a little more like them.
Almost a year of training and two triathlons later. I am a little more like them. An athlete. Yeah, a fat athlete, but still an athlete! An individual using triathlon to re-pattern a life more sustainable. Transitioning alone, for no one but myself, I’m making those healthy choices more and more often. A few dates have commented on my ‘weird eating habits’ and my ‘going to bed early’. I hear them and wonder how much more narrow my compatibility field of life partners is becoming. As I continue forward into my own unknown, the field will narrow until only one is in the focus. I am looking forward till then!
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3 comments:
You go girl!! Whoot whoot! I love your desire to push yourself and that you know you can keep moving forward.
Keep it up. You're an inspiration!
Don't know how i missed this, but it's great you'll be doing Gateway to the Bay! I plan to be there as well. it's a great race and it's put on by a quality company. The boat start is an interesting gimmick that you will not find in many other Olympic distance tris.
Have fun!
the boat part seems a little daunting right now.. but HEY, its my 3rd tri, so its time to try something longer & different!I'm stoked that you will be there somewhere ahead of me.. to cheer me as I come in
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